I lost my mother just the other day. This woman was not the one who gave birth to my body. She was the one who gave birth to my self. Physically she was my grandmother. Truthfully she was much more.
Amidst the pain of bearing her loss I was offered perspective by another strong woman with whom I am a part. My wife. She helped me realize just how motherly my grandmother was and what exactly separated her from the other women in my life who have attempted to fill that role.
My wife helped me see a mother is first and foremost a warrior of space. When I reflected on my experience as a young child, from infancy through early adolescence, I was able to recognize who and where represented my safe place. My home. It was my grandmother and her space. It was her will that I feel comfortable to grow within her space. No matter what turmoil may be surfacing in my experience, she always gave her all to maintain a bubble of LOVE for me to enter at any time. If any person or thing threatened that bubble, she immediately responded to withstand any attack. She was my greatest warrior.
This woman had an understanding of what it takes for a human to thrive. She understood that children are to be protected and provided for. The environment must be safe and secure with no threat whatsoever. Without a general sense of well being an individual cannot grow. She understood this. This is how she treated me to the most of her ability. With her I had everything to succeed. I was free to thrive.
We all seek to thrive. Our bodies and minds are attracted to health and healing. We become parents to enhance the role of this evolutionary trait. Without parents we are lost to the constant barrage of anti-evolutionary culture. We become stagnant and give up. Without proper parenting a child is left to fend for him / herself and that breeds a culture of bottom-feeding ultimately stalling the chain of growth. Survival has no morals and it's difficult if not impossible to expand upon no core values.
I've often wondered which mother played a greater impact on my life in terms of creating who I am today. Was it my biological mother, complete with her genetic offerings, occasional interactions and toxic life choices? Or was it my grandmother, who joined me when I was six months old, established a consistent home, offered me the world, showed me a center and never gave up? Was it the one who let me go or the one who brought me in? I believe it was a combination of the two. I couldn't have had one without the other. But who would I call my parent? Who would I consider to be the one who filled the role of mother and gave her life to my success?
My grandmother. She was parenting to thrive. I've patterned my own parenting after this example and found soul connection with my wife who is a thriving embodiment of everything righteous my grandmother, my mother, represented.
RIP Great GrandMother Catherine Mae LeGault. More than that, THANK YOU. You are my greatest warrior and I am forever thankful for all you gave to me. I am because of you.
